


Kiss Your Shinigami Goodbye, Quincy

by Rhov



Category: Bleach
Genre: Anal Sex, Barebacking, Bedroom Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, Goodbye Sex, Lemon, M/M, Oral Sex, Quickies, Slash, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-31
Updated: 2012-03-31
Packaged: 2017-11-08 16:45:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/445321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhov/pseuds/Rhov
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Unable to ignore his Quincy heritage, Uryu stays behind while Ichigo leaves to help Nel. However, he decides to give the substitute shinigami a little something to remember him by! Set in Chapter 486.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kiss Your Shinigami Goodbye, Quincy

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Tite-sensei is awesome. Sensei ni rei!

Even before Ishida Uryū stepped into Kurosaki Ichigo's bedroom, he sensed the reiatsu of his mortal enemies. However, this was not the first time he had to rein in his instincts and withhold drawing out his bow. If Hollows were here and an explosive ruckus was not tearing down half the house, then they must be what Ichigo deemed "friendly." A Quincy would never dare call any of them that, but...Uryū was a bit unique in that respect already.

He recognized the two beings. They had helped Ichigo in Hueco Mundo. Nel and...well, names made little difference. They were friends with Ichigo, and for the sake of acknowledging the help they provided in rescuing Orihime, he listened to their troubles. Uryū stood against the wall, far away from these troublesome creatures, and said nothing.

Hueco Mundo was in trouble. Excellent!

The new queen was captured. Even better!

One of their friends had been captured. Good!

Not good.

A friend of theirs was a friend of Ichigo. Uryū saw the eagerness to help in Orihime's face and the quiet determination in Chad's brow.

"I'm sorry. I can't come with you this time."

He looked aside, dreading to make eye contact and see the disappointment, or worse yet, anger in their faces. Why should he feel guilty? What unspoken rule said he _had_ to help these people?

"Ishida-kun..." Orihime's tender worry was like an arrow to his heart.

"Ishida..." Chad's shock and slightly reprimanding tone made Uryū's face tighten even more.

He felt torn. Did they not understand his position? Didn't they know _what he was_?

"Right."

Uryū looked up in a moment of surprise at Ichigo's understanding tone. The one he feared to upset the most had a passive smile instead. Although his body language said he was still a little disappointed, the gleam in his eyes was like a whisper of reassurance.

"After all, Quincys exist to destroy Hollows."

Those eyes soothed Uryū's heart, yet the guilt was still there, gnawing at him, tugging at the pit of his stomach. He knew he shouldn't have to give excuses, yet the four of them had gone through so much. They had battled shinigami captains, Arrancar, and Espada! To abandon them felt...well...traitorous!

Ichigo gave a stretching yawn to shatter the tension. "I knew you'd say that, but then you'd be sulking if I hadn't called you."

That emotion of guilt instantly mutated into annoyance. "You..." That damn Kurosaki!

"Don't worry," the ginger-haired teen said with a cocky smirk. "We can do it perfectly well without you."

Uryū wanted to slap him...and hug him. Ichigo was the only person in the world that understood Uryū this well. Only he could chase away the dark feelings in Uryū's mind while soothing the concerns of everyone in the room. Annoying brat!

A shadow appeared in the window. Uryū looked mildly troubled to see the meddlesome Urahara crouching there.

"Oh. You seem to be having fun. Shall I arrange your trip to Hueco Mundo?" he asked with a smug smile.

Of course, the geta-wearing store owner shocked them, but Ichigo recovered quickest. "Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks a bunch, but...well, can you guys give me and Ishida a moment? I just wanna clear this up with him so there are no hard feelings."

Orihime tittered. "Ahh, I love it when you two are so friendly together. Kurosaki-kun, Ishida-kun, you're both so cute together!"

Both boys blushed a little, coughed something out of their throats, and felt a bit of sweat drip. "Uh...thanks?" they both questioned.

"Hey, don't get into a fight with Ishida," Chad warned. "You'll need your strength."

"Yeah, don't worry," Ichigo said with a smile.

"I wanna stay with Ithigo!" Nel insisted with a stubborn pout.

"Oh, no, no, that won't do at all," Urahara chuckled, winking to Ichigo. "We've gotta make a bento for the trip, and if you want the _yummy things_ in your bento, you gotta come pick them yourself."

"Yummy things?" Just thinking about it, Nel began to salivate like a hungry dog.

"Let's go," Urahara said lightly, waving them out of the room. "We'll head to my shop for this. You two," and he glanced back with eyes gleaming under his floppy bucket hat. "I'll expect you in half an hour. Understood?"

Ichigo chuckled slyly. "Yeah, got it. And...thanks."

Urahara waved it aside blithely. "I can see the issue." He gave a surreptitious glance to Ichigo's crotch. That brief look, nearly invisible from under his hat, ticked off Uryū. "Work it off, you two."

Orihime looked up at him in confusion as she followed the shopkeeper out. "Urahara-san, don't you mean _work it out_?"

"Work off, work out...same thing," he shrugged, firmly shutting the door behind him. "Come along, everyone. We have a trip to plan!"

Uryū silently watched Ichigo as they heard voices downstairs. A door opened and shut, then voices chatting out in the street. Ichigo had his substitute shinigami badge out, fiddling with it and tracing the skull in a nervous gesture. They waited until everything in the house was quiet.

"So," Uryū finally smirked, "you called me out here purely so I wouldn't sulk at being excluded, huh?"

"You would have cried," Ichigo teased. "After all..." He stepped forward and lightly caressed Uryū's cheek. "...if I up and left, you'd worry who's gonna take care of me."

Uryū brushed his hand aside in annoyance. "What am I, your mother? You're old enough to take care of yourself."

"You'll probably be lonely."

"Not likely! While you're gone, I'll keep hunting Hollows, fill in for _your_ duties. You're just holding me back, you know!"

Ichigo smirked at such proud defiance. "Is that so? And if I'm gone a month?" He stepped up close again, not touching the Quincy, but he leaned into his ear with his chest just barely rubbing against his zipped-up hoodie. "Would you miss me?"

Uryū was about to deny it, but the intensity in Ichigo's brow silenced him. They had grown apart over the past seventeen months, and they both knew it. Uryū had simply kept his distance for so long, worried that if they all kept hanging out like usual, Ichigo might feel bad. He, Chad, and even Orihime had grown strong during the troubles with Aizen. When Ichigo was suddenly powerless, Uryū simply had no clue how to deal with their relationship. He panicked and pulled away. Now Ichigo was back to full strength, maybe even stronger than before. It felt like old times.

Except now he was staying behind. As much as he wanted to follow Ichigo into battle, to be by his side, protect him, be the voice of reason in their quartet, he could not bring himself to do it, not this time! They were heading with the goal of saving a disgusting Hollow. This was not like when they rescued Orihime. There would be no lame excuse to justify his actions.

"Ishida?" Ichigo asked in a soft sigh. "I know you can't go but...don't abandon me completely."

He looked up into those brown eyes in surprise. Ichigo's words were filled with pain and loneliness. Suddenly, Uryū realized that when he had pulled away to keep from troubling Ichigo, he had rejected and ignored his feelings as well. He had abandoned Ichigo in his weakest moment.

A new wave of guilt smashed into him like a tsunami. The hurt in Ichigo's face made the pull in his lower stomach draw tighter. Suddenly, he was aware of the smells in this room, aromas he had simply gotten used to during their time together, and only now did he realize how much he had missed them. Now, all those odors were little memories, keys to the past, a time when they fought and loved with equal ferocity.

"I'm sorry, Kurosaki." He pulled the boy into an embrace. "I wanted to shield you, but I just blocked myself from you."

"I know why you did it," Ichigo said softly. "I know all of you were walking on egg shells around me. Are...are we good now?"

Uryū chuckled at such timidity. "Yeah, Kurosaki. Yeah, we're good. I can't help you this time, but when you come back I'll be waiting."

Ichigo smiled in relief. He pulled back, about to thank him and go, yet the softened look behind those glasses made his words catch in his throat. He felt like panicking. His sisters were asleep, his father was gone, but still...

"Kurosaki...Ichigo."

Hearing the Quincy use his given name made Ichigo shudder. Long, cold fingers reached up and lightly brushed against his lips. Ichigo closed his eyes and lightly kissed one of the passing fingertips. "We only have thirty minutes," he whispered.

"Twenty-six now," Uryū corrected, leaning in closer and running his hands up under Ichigo's shirt.

"My sisters are home." He moaned at the chill creeping up his stomach to his chest.

Uryū's lips fluttered against his ear. "Then keep quiet." He nipped the earlobe, licked around the rim, and kissed lightly down Ichigo's neck, savoring the heavy, heated breaths coming from the strawberry. "You're a hopeless idiot, you know that? If you're leaving, I have to mark you, like a piece of luggage. Then, even if you lose your way, I know you'll come back to me." He let his moist lips trail along a little until he got to where the shoulder met the neck. "Your shihakusho should cover this." Then his lips attached to the muscular shoulder and sucked violently.

"Ury-!" Ichigo forgot to keep quiet for that one brief moment. He slammed his mouth shut on the last vowel and swallowed back the cry as the tendons in his neck strained to keep quiet.

The Quincy leaned back and admired the reddening mark. "Nice. Still, I doubt this will show up on your spiritual body. Perhaps I should mark you so deeply," he smirked slyly, "it'll pierce your soul!"

Words like that inflamed Ichigo. He yanked on the zipper to Uryū's hoodie and roughly thrust the sweater off. He attacked and pressed the Quincy up against the bedroom wall, thrusting his hips against the bony pelvis so hard, Uryū could hardly help but groan.

"Ichigo...ahnn!"

"Remember, be quiet," Ichigo taunted. "If my sisters wake up, it's all over."

He glared through his glasses. "Damn your rambunctiousness!"

"You know I'm not as patient as you," Ichigo smiled as he yanked on Uryū's belt.

"Careful. You'll rip my clothes," he grumbled.

"You can sew them."

Finally he got the belt, button, and zipper down. Without even waiting to pull the pants down, Ichigo's hand reached under the elastic of the boxers and grabbed the hardened shaft within. Uryū tensed and gritted his teeth to keep from moaning too loud. He was a bit slower, but he got Ichigo's skin-tight pants undone and yanked them only down to the thighs, enough to free the cock from its bushy orange forest. As Uryū slid his fingers around him, Ichigo hissed an inhale.

"Your fingers are always so cold," he whispered. "And so gentle."

Uryū smirked at the faces Ichigo was already making, how his brow pulled down, not in the usual scowl he showed to everyone, but something more. It wasn't pain, anger, or bitterness in his face. It was something far more complex. In moments like this, he knew the substitute shinigami brooded about how vastly different they were, and how unmistakably similar. He knew Ichigo would savor his ministrations as he silently lamented that they weren't just a little more similar, wishing that they could put aside the dividing cleft of Quincy versus Shinigami. Then he would come to realize that this difference colored their dynamics. Even at times like this, when Uryū had to pull away and not assist his friends due to promises made to his father and the ingrained hatred toward shinigami that the Quincys had, still...

"If you're ever truly in trouble," the slender boy whispered, stroking the spiky orange hair, "you know I'll be by your side in an instant."

Ichigo smiled blindly at the oath, then opened his eyes to stare into the intense shade of blue held back by reflecting glasses. Uryū saw the strain in his brow loosen, his eyes soften, and the tightness in his shoulders eased away. Ichigo showed without words how eternally grateful he was.

And an instant later: "I can _handle_ myself without you," he said in a snarky, arrogant tone.

Uryū's eyebrow twitched in annoyance, but he loved their games of innuendo. They turned him on so hard! "Yet I'm always the one who protects you... _in the end_." His hands slid down to Ichigo's ass and gave it a firm pinch.

Ichigo bucked up against him, and for a moment their cocks collided. They held still as those sensitive members sensed the heat from one another. Ichigo dared not move, yet Uryū knew they did not have much time for foreplay.

"You would still be a hopeless virgin without me," he sneered in lust. He used to wall to support himself as he slid down, tugging the tight jeans as he went. He wondered how on Earth Ichigo could wear skinny pants like that and not suffer from constriction. "You may be strong, and you might be nimble, but you can't do _this_ to yourself." Without any pretense or teasing, he took Ichigo's cock as far into his mouth as he could, until it hit the back of his throat and the orange curls tickled his nose.

Ichigo's head flew back with a soundless moan. One day— _one day_ —he would take Uryū to a love hotel so they did not have to torment themselves by keeping quiet. He kept his throat opened wide so the deep panting came out airy and quiet. Karin and Yuzu would need to have their ears right up against the crack in the door to hear him.

"Uryū," he breathed and ran his callused hand through the stringy raven locks.

The Quincy hummed as if asking _What?_ The vibrating feel made Ichigo's knees go weak.

"Bed. Now!"

Uryū rose up and gave Ichigo a crushing kiss. With their lips attached, he used the wall for momentum, pushed a foot off of it, and thrust Ichigo at a tripping backwards pace. A normal couple would have fallen, but he knew Ichigo's prowess would never cause him to stumble with such a minor thing. Ichigo grabbed his thin shoulders to keep their bodies together and yanked him down on top of him on the bed. There was a moment of maddened scrambling, kicking aside clothes and rumpled blankets. Ichigo threw Uryū's glasses to the side haphazardly and silenced the small syllable of protest by thrusting his tongue into Ishida's mouth.

Uryū frotted up against him, letting their cocks build a friction heat between them. His cold fingers traveled up and down hills and vales of abdominal muscles to firm pectorals. Ichigo's nipples were already tense like everything else on his sculpted body. Ishida gave both nubs a simultaneous pinch.

"Uryū!"

The Quincy's hands moved away and he raised himself up. "If you can't keep quiet, I'll have to smother you with the pillow."

"Dammit, bastard, don't do both at the same time!"

Uryū smirked in sadistic satisfaction. "You mean like this?" He grabbed the nipples again and rolled them between his fingers.

"Fuck!" Ichigo hissed, struggling to keep silent. "Stop! Stop it! They'll hear."

He knew the strawberry was right. Still, he planned to do so much more to the little shinigami. "Lube." The word thudded out in a demanding order.

Ichigo pulled away, rolled to the side of the bed, and swung his head upside down to search underneath. Uryū stared at his back, hips, and tempting ass. He grabbed one solid gluteus and gave it a squeeze.

"Do you mind, Ishida?" Ichigo sassed. "I'm searching here." He tossed out three Playboy magazines, a comb, an empty water bottle, a hentai DVD, some old homework, a book they had to study last school year, five energy shot bottles, a stuffed animal that looked like something Rukia might have owned, and finally he rose up, his face flushed from being upside down, a small bottle in his hand.

"I guess you haven't used it in a while," Uryū mumbled.

"Not since...since the last time you came over."

Uryū looked aside. That felt like a lifetime ago. They had been young, foolish, impulsive...not like much changed over the past seventeen months! Hesitantly, he asked, "Have you...dated anyone since then?"

Ichigo shook his head. "You?"

Uryū also answered with a shake. "Too busy with school, work, training, applying to universities..." He paused and looked into those chocolaty eyes. "How did we find time for each other?"

Ichigo gave an amiable smile. "We _made_ time. And we're running out of time. Ten minutes. I need two minutes to get to Urahara's shop if I use shunpo. That gives us seven minutes."

"Eight, imbecile. How the hell did you pass math?"

"I need a minute to clean up and swallow Kon, stupid. And I thought you were the top ranked student in our class. Must be all book-smarts and no street-smarts."

"We're wasting time," Uryū growled, and he tried to yank the bottle out of Ichigo's hands.

"Hey! What are you doing?"

"It's my turn to top."

"Your turn...? Are you serious?" Ichigo yelled. "That was seventeen months ago. You remember who topped last time?"

"Of course I do!" He pouted slightly. "Why? Have you forgotten?"

Ichigo flinched a little at the hurt look in those blue eyes. He tried to think back to the last time. Before they left for Hueco Mundo, obviously. It was a year and a half ago. Feeling guilty, Ichigo had to admit to himself...he couldn't remember!

"Are you gonna prep me or not?" Ichigo snapped in irritation, hoping to ignore his lack of memory. "Seven minutes. Tick-tock!"

Uryū wished their first time back after so long could be slower, something to savor, but he accepted what was offered. Seven minutes—six now. He glanced at Ichigo's alarm clock, noted the time, and began.

His movements were swift, similar to how he handled items when sewing. A stream of lube coated the fingers, then one slammed in hard.

" _Fuck!_ " Ichigo howled.

They both knew the girls must have heard that, and Ichigo glanced to the door, expecting a timid knock at any moment. Uryū ignored that. He was focused now.

"Relax," he urged. "You need to loosen up."

"Hold on, it's been a while," Ichigo sighed, trying to find that familiar zen-like trance he used to slip into during lovemaking.

Uryū felt the muscles loosen, and he hardly waited to slip a second finger in. Ichigo tensed again, but this time he was remembering the routine. Breathe through it, relax the hips, push out, feel the pleasure waiting just beyond the initial pain.

"It's probably not enough," Uryū realized, sliding his sticky fingers out and wiping them on the sheet, "but it'll have to do." He put a little extra lube on his shaft to compensate for an inadequate prep.

Ichigo sought out that meditative relaxed state as he felt the soft tip begin to probe and align itself. "I'm so glad I won't be in this body tomorrow."

Uryū had to smile at that. "Yeah, because I'm gonna make your ass damn sore!" Then he forced himself inside. Ichigo covered his mouth to mute the cry, although little whimpers and husky groans escaped softly. While Uryū waited, he glanced at the clock. The minute clicked over before Ichigo finally sighed out the agony and gave a nod.

Five minutes. At least Uryū knew how to work under pressure.

He wasted no time and began thrusting root to tip hard and fast. It made Ichigo's back arch up off the sheet. Uryū watched the beautiful agony in his face, then closed his eyes to the fuzziness of a world without glasses and focused instead on the sounds, on Ichigo's panting breaths that matched their rocking pace, on the squelch of lube and the fleshy slapping of his sack hitting against Ichigo's butt cheeks every time he thrust inward.

"Fucker, slow down," Ichigo demanded, but the Quincy refused to be ordered around. "Slow down!" he begged.

He couldn't anymore. He leaned over and gave Ichigo a moist kiss, invading his mouth with as much vigor as he was fucking his ass. At the same time, his hands tweaked the stiff nipples.

" _Fuu-uuuu-uuck!_ " Ichigo screamed, long and drawn out, yet jolting with every thrust.

"I really do need to smother you with a pillow," Uryū teased.

Ichigo ignored his banter. He had completely forgotten about Karin and Yuzu now. He grabbed his own cock and jerked on it hard, trying to time it to Uryū.

"Ichigo," Ishida moaned. "I like watching you touch yourself."

Uryū felt sweat drip down his body. He left off the nipples and grabbed Ichigo's legs, forcefully tossing them over his shoulders and lifting the skinny hips up just a little, then bracing them with his powerful grip, hands that had trained hard to handle the Quincy bow, but now cared for something much tauter. With this new angle, he trust in hard. Both of them moaned together.

"I can't come with you guys this time," Ishida grunted rhythmically, "but...I wanna cum with you. I wanna cum inside. Is that okay?"

Ichigo nodded frantically as his fingers clawed into Uryū's shoulders, leaving pink welts. His breathing was already losing its meditative tempo and becoming frantic. Uryū sensed these changes and squinted at the alarm clock.

Two minutes.

"Ichigo," he huffed heatedly. "Don't cum yet. I want to swallow you down."

He opened his eyes in surprise, but he saw the final straining sneers in his lover's face. "Got it. I'll hold out."

"You bet-...-ter!"

Uryū tried to say it in the usual playful banter they shared, but the last syllable cracked as he lost all control. His hips thrust faster, wild, no delicacy at all, just raw need. His thighs flexed as he tensed his throat almost shut to silence his yells.

"Oh God! Oh God, Ichigo! I...I'm gonna..."

Ichigo felt the throb pulse his anal muscles and pressure fill him. His back arched at the feel and his toes curls in the air. He needed to come hard, but he clenched his lower abdominal muscles to delay it.

"Uryū!" he begged. "Hurry! I can't wait!"

The cock pulled out so fast, Ichigo felt some of the spent fluid leak out before the sphincter had time to tighten again. Then Uryū's mouth was around him, sucking voraciously while his hand massaged Ichigo's sack.

This time, Ichigo grabbed his pillow and voluntarily stifled himself. Uryū could still hear his husky shouts, but he hoped no one else in the house did. Bitter-salty fluid gushed into his mouth, almost choking him. How he had missed the taste! He waited for the spurting to stop, then slowly sucked it all off. Ichigo let the pillow fall to the ground and looked down with weary lids to Ishida lapping him clean. Uryū smirked as he dramatically swallowed the cum down.

"That's gross," Ichigo frowned.

"It's good," he grinned lustily. "Like bitter strawberries." Ishida squinted again to the blurry numbers on the clock. "One minute to spare. Good." He crawled up and curled beside Ichigo, laying his head on the broad chest.

"You went too fast. We had seven minutes."

"No, we had six."

Ichigo scoffed softly. "Who's bad at math now?"

"Idiot. You need a minute to clean up, and I need a minute to enjoy the afterglow. We had six minutes."

Ichigo chuckled and wrapped his arms around Uryū. "I should have asked Urahara to give me an hour."

"Just to clear up a trivial matter? That would be suspicious."

"They're already suspicious."

"They were before. Inoue-san once asked me if we were _bed buddies_. She doesn't ask anymore. They all know we've kept our distance."

"Yeah," he mumbled with a pout. Ichigo looked over to him. "And now?"

Uryū used an elbow to raise himself halfway up. "Now...you clean up, find where that perverted stuffed lion went, and swallow Kon. Go save your Hollow friends. I'll be here waiting. Maybe," he smiled, "when this is all over...we're older now, y'know. We won't be kids much longer. Maybe we should tell everyone."

Ichigo had to smile at the joy of living without yet another secret. However... "That's stupid! Your father would disown you."

"A risk I'm willing to take...for you, Kurosaki Ichigo," he smiled gently.

Ichigo felt watery fire in his eyes. He refused to cry, and he looked away stubbornly. " _Baka!_ " He rolled off the bed, yanked a robe on, gathered up his clothes, and marched away. "You better be gone before I return."

"Why?" Uryū asked in slight worry.

Ichigo glanced back around his shoulder. "Kon is gonna be feeling one hell of an ass-ache, and if he sees you here, he'll know it was you and not just me masturbating again."

"What, do you masturbate with a buttplug?" he teased.

"Yeah," Ichigo shrugged casually. "It's under the bed if you wanna borrow it, keep yourself entertained while I'm gone. Just return it when I get back. Take those Playboy magazines and the AVs too. I don't like the idea of Kon fapping while in my body."

"Got it. You better hurry. Your minute to clean yourself is up. You'll have to make it to Urahara's in one minute, at this rate."

Ichigo ran out of the room, but the door did not completely close. Uryū smiled to himself, got up slowly, walked through the room naked, and pushed the door shut. He gave a long sigh and stretched above his head. He felt...amazing! Not just the sexual afterglow, but a feeling of relief, happiness that Ichigo understood him so well and forgave him. He was also immensely happy that they were together again after so long. It made his whole body so much less tensed.

He found his glasses, used a discarded shower towel sitting in a hamper to quickly wipe the lube off of him, and pulled on his clothes. By then, he heard Kon's unique pitch of Ichigo's voice arguing with the substitute shinigami. Uryū knew he could not escape normally, so he opened up the window. Before leaping out into the night, he grabbed up the magazines, videos, and glanced under the bed. There was a suspicious black box. Upon opening it, he saw a silicone fleshlight, anal beads, as well as the buttplug.

"Kinky bastard," he mumbled. He tucked the risqué items under his arm and leaped out into the darkness at the same time that Kon and Ichigo opened the bedroom door and stepped in.

"It's called fiber!" Kon griped. "Eat some prunes, dammit! Or switch from that sugar-coated cereal crap to some high-fiber grains."

"Yeah, yeah," Ichigo muttered as he climbed into the windowsill.

"Don't _yeah-yeah_ me! I'm the one who has to deal with your constipation issues. Did you crap a whole dog out?" He rubbed his butt as he limped forward into the bedroom.

"Whatever. I'm off. Watch over my family."

"Who's gonna watch over me and my aching backside?" Kon demanded. "Seriously, I hurt so bad, it's worse than buttsex."

Ichigo was about to leave, but he jolted back inside at that. "How would you know? Have you been having sex in my body?"

Kon panicked and began to stutter. "Ah...see...I...uh..." Cowering down, he squeaked out, "No?"

Ichigo's face snarled in fury. "Bastard! If you weren't in my body, I'd fucking _kill you_ ," he screamed. "Who? Who was it with?"

Kon crouched down on the floor like a dog about to be beaten. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! It was that guy, the pale skinny one."

"Ishida?" Ichigo asked in astonishment.

"Waaaah! I'm sorry," Kon bawled loudly. "I know you hate his guts, but he came over to the house and seemed to be all for it. He made such a cute uke, I couldn't resist."

"Uke? Ishida?" He thought back, not angry but confused. "When...when was that?"

"Eh?" Kon looked up, shocked he was not being pulverized. "Ah...well, I guess it was before you left for Hueco Mundo."

Ichigo looked aside and chuckled. "So that's what he meant."

"Huh? What who meant where why how...huh?"

"Nothing," Ichigo muttered. "Don't go near Ishida again."

"If he gives me that adorable uke simper, I might not be able to stop myself."

Ichigo leaned over mere millimeters away from his face and glared straight into the brown eyes. "Stay...away...from...Uryū!" Then Ichigo leaped out the window and was gone in a flash.

"Uryū?" Kon wondered to himself. "Since when did he start calling the Quincy by his first name?"

**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> _After reading Chapter 486, a naughty sidestory began tickling my brain. It wouldn't go away. If I wanted to get my work done, I needed to write this, get the horny plot bunny out of my head, and let it run wild in the world. I apologize if it's random and maybe even cliché, but... I just had to get this hot scene out of my naughty imagination. Yes, I made Uryū the seme, because I love switching the stereotypical roles. And I love my megane bishie!_


End file.
